The Art of Dating Yourself - Porto Edition

Solo travel is how I dissect my life.

And put the Humpty Dumpty of my discombobulated soul back together again. 

It is how I reinvent myself over and over and over.

When I woke up yesterday morning and remembered I had a 5€ bus ticket to Porto for a 24 hour get away I did the same little shimmy in my bed I used to do when I received a text back from a lover (aka a trauma bond)

I was full of butterflies knowing I was going to roam the quiet streets I loved so much with me, myself and I Ahhh this little screen you’re holding in your hands. 

Stop waiting for ‘the one’ to come along and fill that ‘missing puzzle piece.’

Be your own fucking puzzle piece.

Stop waiting for them to ‘sweep you off your feet’ and take you ‘on that trip.’

Do it yourself.

Because guess what!!

When you make friends with the softness of your heart and the voice in your head. 

You get to wake up and be with that person everyday for the rest of your life.  

This ain’t no honeymoon period kinda butterflies. 

This feeling is for life.

Once you cross the line of internal coherence, everything feels like one big first date. 

On my dinner date with myself the couple next to me were having a terribly hostile fight about her birthday and him not listening to her or paying for anything.

Ohhhhh what a trigger for me!

My insides began to turn inside out and I left halfway through my meal.

I had a small fight with Benny over dinner before he passed away over not feeling heard or seen and I would give anything to yell at that beautiful fucker over tacos again.

I was so angry at myself for the way I walked out and reacted out of an old program instead of acting out of empathy that I ended up finding an all night bakery, buying her a piece of cake and wrote her a little letter.

I took it back to the front of the restaurant and got the staff to send it upstairs.

‘Don’t you want to take it up to her?’

‘No, just tell them to be kind please!’ I said as I walked out in a rush to sit down by the river and have a little cry 🌻🌻

After that, I walked home on cloud 9, knowing I had just reprogrammed myself, and in that moment I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for the human I have become ♥️

I am living in an unbridled sense of freedom most dream of

And few know exist

Not because I am special…

No no. 

I am just a girl from the Gold Coast!

I am free because I had the courage to say….

‘This is not my story’ and reprogram my life from scratch.

I soften myself more and more everyday, and in doing so, inspire others to become soft.

It’s ok to be alone….

Trust me, you eventually get bored of the waiters questioning why you’re alone and the pitiful stares from people sitting across from you.

I know we’re heading into another lockdown, but you don’t have to go outside to date yourself. 

How have you shown up for yourself and the programmed computer in your mind this week? ♥️